The Life List- Day 9

Several months have passed between day 7 and 9. Let's just call that Day 8 of living, loving, and losing. 

Annnnnnd now we're back. So...I'm not really into bucket lists. Who likes to think about kicking a bucket anyway? As my grandmother lays intubated with doctors in a race against the clock and a tango with fate- I figured it'd be a great time for me to reflect on the precious gift of life. We never know how life will twist and turn, but there are a few things I know for sure. I want to live a bold, free, and authentic life. Outside of the day-to-day tasks, here are a few things I'd like to do in my season on Earth.  

26 Musings Before I turn 26...My Life List

1. Find love and make love on every continent.

2. Skydive.

3. Visit the wonders of the world that I have not seen yet. (So blessed to travel...)

4. Re-visit La Sagrada Familia with my children.

5. Write an open letter to my children in their landmark years. (10, 12,16,18,21,25,30, 40, 50)

6. Walk...no STRUT a major runway!

7. Lead someone to Christ and maintain discipleship with them.

8. Do an all-girls outrageous adventure.

9. Have more father-daughter weekend escapes. (Gotta let my Daddy walk on the wild side!)

10. Live and love abroad for a long time (Moving to the UAE in the fall-still working on the love part.)

11. Cross-Country ROADTRIP!!! (National Parks anyone?)

12. Attend Fashion Week with my sister.

13. Running of the Brides! (Go Team!!)

14. Be the chairperson of a MAJOR social event that raises lots of $$ for an amazing cause.

15. Be featured in an inspirational magazine article.

16. Sail on Semester at Sea again as a leisure traveler and an employee.

17. Be a professor with internationally respected work.

18. Fund a scholarship for girls to experience the world.

19. Speak another language fluently.

20. Frolic on a nude beach.

21. Take amazing "I love my body!" portraits.

22. Make someone's wildest dreams come true.

23. Live in a city where driving is truly optional.

24. Marry the one who takes my breath away.

25. Host a women's conference.

26. Raise a baby genius...or two...or three.

The Good Life

Day 7...

The challenge for today is to write my ideal life narrative using only present tense language for my lifestyle, work, education, finances, health, family, and relationships. Too often I think, "I will....." or "One day I should....". So, this has been a good exercise in viewing the possibilities as my current reality.


Onward Christians Soldiers,

Shon.

My Ideal Life Narrative


I just returned from another research trip to India, Ethiopia, and Abu Dhabi. I live in the city where I'm finishing my doctoral research on international education reform. I'm also teaching at the University (to earn the free part of my degree...lol) and working with a third grade class at Morningside Heights Elementary. I enjoy teaching teachers how to connect their students with other kids around the world in conversations and cultural comparisons. My work is especially rewarding because it gives me the flexibility to support my husband's ventures and my own passions. I love to entertain, and we have themed get-togethers at our loft once a month. I am completely debt free. I have a healthy emergency fund. And, I contribute to my Roth IRA at the maximum level annually. I treat myself the way I want others to treat me...like a princess. So I always make time for my standing spa date, yoga+pilates, girl's night, and gourmet club dinners. I am conscious of the way I treat God's earth, so you know I'm "Green and Chic!" My walk with God is real. It's transparent, organic, and thriving. I'm following my man as he follows Christ, and let me tell you, it's a wild ride. I teach a 5-6 year old Sunday School class and work with the Ladie's Club at Morningside. Service feeds my soul. My relationship with my parents is strong, and I am careful to sow seeds into my father's church and into my sisters' and brother's dreams. I am unreasonably good to myself, my love, my family, my friends, and my enemies. I have a seamless balance between work and play that inspires my younger counterparts. I could keep updating you on my life, but it's time to make a move. Until next time...


Shon

Mission Possible

Day 5

Our friends over at www.happyblackwoman.com challenged us to combine the top ten values+action to create a PERSONAL MISSION STATEMENT. Here's to the best day of my life...

My Mission

I wildly pursue a Christ-centered life by being unreasonably good to myself and giving that same God-kind of love to others without conditions. I choose peace and positivity in my relationships, conversations, and work with children. I take good care of God's resources so that I can support my husband, children, family members, and strangers. I create wealth for my childrens' children, and explore the world without regret. I cultivate and protect an electric femininity that sets a standard and example for the people in my life. Yesterday's lessons are in my fabulous, sparkly tool belt. But... I live for today, plan for tomorrow, and yield to the moment.

Always,

Shon

Drumroll please..........THE TOP TEN

So, let's pretend several days have NOT gone by, and I'm perfectly on track with my 31 Day reset challenge...lol. The last few days have been all about values. First, I made a long list of things that matter to me. The next day I had to rank them and rate my progress on each value. And now for the full-ish disclosure... (Brace yourself.)

1. Living in pursuit of Christ- Score:7 With lots of life-changing decisions on the table, I am seeking God's wisdom and discernment before making decisions. However, I could stand to MAKE time for more daily, quality time with God. Work zaps my energy and God occasionally gets the leftovers.

2. Loving me always- Score: 4 After 12+ hours at work, grad school, and family commitments, I crash on the couch. Lights on, fully dressed, dinner uncooked....On the weekends I tend to catch up on sleep, at the expense of living out loud and exploring my city. On the bright side, I am practicing the art of "NO". I've enjoyed learning how to say no to others in order to say "yes" to myself. And, I'm enjoying that ride. I'm also improving in this area by doing the things on my "Pursuit of HappYness" list, one by one.

3. Being a giver- Score: 8 I tend to give without restraint. This is a doubly wonderful and self-defeating habit. On one hand, I'm certain that God rewards generosity and loving with conditions. On the other hand, "giving" can be a mask for over-compensating habits. The polar opposite of "angry black woman" is not the healthiest option.

4. Maintaining a peaceful, low-drama lifestyle- Score: 7 My usual thoughts are...."If it's broken, fix it. If it's beyond repair, throw it away. If it barks, ignore. If it barks louder, ignore."

5. Financial Security and Wealth- Score: 6 I'm doing well in my current position. Sometimes I resort to retail therapy, without regret. I also want my money to make money while I sleep so there's definite room for growth. I am proud of the way I budget funds and use coupons to maximize my dollars.

6.  Adventure-Score: 6 I'm so torn on this value...Part of me wants to jump on a plane to Dubai in a few months...Yet I'm afraid that unbridled adventure will get lonely. Perhaps I should 'settle down', ration the adventure a bit and share my life with someone. This makes room for a great Sex and the City Quote....“Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free til they find someone just as wild to run with them.” LOL! I'm not sure how true this is, Carrie. :-/


7. Raising a Godly family- Score N/A. No husband and babies to date...But, thanks to teaching, my wheels are turning about creative discipline and stretching my babies' brain power... :-)


8. Making Time to Travel- Score: 7- Essence Music Festival, Las Vegas, Home for the Holidays, and Cancun, this has been a pretty good travel year. Next up: New Yoooooooooork, home for my sister's wedding, Savannah, Serenbe, Hilton Head, Iowa, Florida, and some country TBD...Maybe this score should be an 8.

9.  Peaceful, positive influence with my students- Score: 7. I'm not a yeller, and I correct in love. But when I am tired and hungry...it shows.


10. Outloving my spouse 50% of the time. Score: N/A I want to make him unreasonably happy. If we both focus on that kind of giving, life may not be perfect, but it will be very good. 


Phew...That was kind of exhausting. And now for the honorable mentions...
*healthy, green-ish living, specializing in the little things, trying new things, paying it forward, living without regret, not be a nagging, fussy woman, avoiding the superficial at all costs, serving in missions, creating a welcome home where people actually WANT to spend time.


How is your list coming?

Until next time,


Shon

You have 31 days to reset your life.

After a novel worthy night of laughter, libations, and kissing a strange boy on the dance floor-it's only apropos to stop and reflect. Joyce Meyer once said that our outer lives are simply mirrors reflecting our inner lives. (Am I the only person slightly amused and concerned by the elicit proximity of Joyce Meyer and kissing boys?)  I digress. As I consider my space and "outer life", a cloud of deprial  hovers around my curls. (Yes, I'm sitting between stacks of unopened mail, pageant dresses, and boxes. It's the place where depression meets denial. i.e. deprial...coming soon to a diction-ary near you.)

In short, my friends, it's time to press the reset button. You can follow my ups, downs, and curly ques here. But, I have an even bolder PUSH for you. Take the 31 Day Reset Challenge with me. I'm starting today, (20 days later than the rest of the world) and I'm challenging you to start today, right after you finish reading...

Rosetta over at the happy black woman blog :-) adapted the challenge, and I encourage you to make it your own. 

DAY ONE-

Despite my throbbing head and canceled plans with the besos, I'm going to the bookstore to purchase my sparkly "Reset Notebook". It's essential to have a non-replicable space to chart this journey. Also, I had to choose a mantra. Wait for it.................................................

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. 

I did the cheesy "starting over quotes" google search, and stumbled across this little gem from Steve Jobs

"For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something." -

Let me get two claps for a life filled with a lot less noes.

Shon

Push.

Tick.Tock.Tick.Tock.Tiiiick. Tock. It's not biological, literal, or remotely hypothetical. Though I try to silence it, my clock keeps right. on. ticking. I've tried to find ways to capture the minutes and moments in some sort of freeze frame. Out of the sheerly hilarious, random, whimsical, destined, insane, and "Ain't that some sh--?!" moments of my twenty-something life as a brown girl in the city, this blog was born. 

I really hope you dig what I have to say. Scratch that. I actually don't care that much if you dig it per se. But, since you stopped by, feel free to push. Push back on the ideas, not the author. Push me forward (conceptually, not face plantually). Push the envelope. Push my wrinkle in time right into the next chapter of novel worthy nights.

Selah,

Shon